All right, River City! This is Dr. Johnny Fever and I am burning up in here! And now here's Les Nessman with the news...

Well, let's see. In today's Vanguardia Andy Robinson has a smear piece on John Negroponte. Meanwhile, the Thais had a shootout with some Islamic fundamentalist rebels in the southern part of the country and killed more than a hundred of them. They figure that Jamaa Islamiya is behind it; there have been multiple terrorist attacks against police officers, Buddhist monks, and just plain civilians that are likely their work, and Jamaa Islamiya's operations chief was arrested in Thailand last year.

The Vangua also has a story saying that the US is very happy about the expansion of the EU to 25 states. First, most of the new additions are former Communist states that are now strongly pro-American. Second, this is a further guarantee of continued peace in Europe; the US doesn't have to worry about any more trouble in these parts and can focus on other areas. Third, this is of course going to be a boost for the new members' economies, and American business is expecting to benefit in the long term based on the theory of the rising tide lifting all boats. Fourth, France's influence in the EU will be diluted. It looks like Eusebio Val, Vangua correspondent, has picked up Danielle Pletka from the American Enterprise Institute as a regular source, because he quotes her extensively in his story and says that her statements were made directly to "this newspaper", i.e. he himself. He's used her at least once before as an exclusive source. Excellent. This is evidence that Val is trying to report both sides of the story, at least somewhat, since Pletka is obviously pro-American and conservative. Val's articles that quoted Pletka were both quite moderate in tone. Say what you will, this is better than Xavier Mas de Xaxas, and a hell of a lot better than Spain's Jayson Blair, Stephen Glass, and Robert Fisk all rolled into one, Rafael Ramos, a disgrace to the profession of journalism. Since journalism is one of the lowest professions existent, ethically speaking, calling Ramos a disgrace to it is strong language, which I fully intended. I would put journalism at its worst, Ramos's journalism, somewhere below prostitution, which is at least a fair deal, assuming both parties agree to the arrangements.

Zap went to Berlin and licked Gerhard Schroeder's taint. Spain is officially in the Berlin-Paris Axis of Weasels. Said Schroeder, "I've spoken with French president Jacques Chirac, and we are in agreement to propose a close collaboration between Germany, France, and Spain that could result in the launching of joint initiatives in the European sphere and the international sphere", said Schroeder. Specifically, Spain is going to dump the Poles and roll over for the French plan to divide power among the various EU countries; that is, Zap is going to accept less power for Spain in the constitutional carveup than what Aznar and the Poles were holding out for. Also, specifically, there is lots of talk that the Bermuda Triangle of Europe is going to propose some kind of resolution in the UN related to who ought to be in charge in Iraq; I suppose what they're hoping for is a UN resolution mandating that the US turn over control of its forces in Iraq to the UN, which the Americans and British would undoubtedly veto but which is the kind of grandstanding that Socialists and anti-Americans like to do.

Zap's next stop is Paris, where he will lick Chirac's taint.

There are rumors running around the Spanish media that the Americans are refusing to collaborate, and are actually being obstructive, in the Spanish pullout from Iraq. Spain's military spokesman denied this, of course, and I can't imagine that the Americans are actually interfering in the military actions of an "ally" or doing anything that would put Spanish troops in any sort of unnecessary danger.

Jordi Pujol, retired Catalan Prime Minister, gave a quite reasonable talk yesterday. Pujol is an old fox, and I have a good deal of respect for him because he is a conservative politician with impeccable anti-Franco credentials (he was jailed for three years and was tortured several times). He has always defended freedom and democracy, though his economic ideas are more conservative / mercantilist than liberal / capitalist; he's a Christian Democrat in spirit if not in name, and he takes the social responsibility of the state very seriously. Pujol, like most Continental Europeans, believes that the state's role is to take care of the citizens, rather than to serve the citizens. He is not altogether closed to influence from outside, though, and has always been very pro-business, though somewhat protectionist in his pro-Catalan bourgeois small business stance. I had three complaints about Pujol while he was PM of Catalonia: he had no idea what a balanced budget was, he had a demagogic tendency to play the Catalan nationalist card when he was criticized, and he was rather an old-style cacique regarding things like the awarding of government contracts. But, hey, he's personally honest and his friends aren't any bigger thieves than anyone else in Europe. Especially not when you compare them with France.

Pujol's very reasonable on foreign affairs. He wants to be friends with everybody, both the French and Germans and the US; I don't know if this is possible but Pujol wants to try. It's a respectable position for a conservative politician who believes that Spain should stay in the second rank of powers internationally, which was one of the main points of Pujol's talk; he accused Aznar of thinking that Spain was a more important player than it really is: "Sooner or later you will see the real strength each one has."

He pointed out that "if what France is trying to do is destabilize the United States, then Spain should stay out of it," that Europe and the US "need to understand that they need one another", that Europe should become "an ally of the United States and not its altar boy," and that therefore both sides should prepare themselves to work together and, importantly, should not "feed the desires of those in Europe who want the United States to fail." Pujol then called those people "stupid".

I don't agree with everything Pujol says, I never have, but he is somebody who it is worth listening to. There's a Spanish expression: "If you keep your mouth closed, you won't swallow any flies." Pujol has kept his mouth shut since leaving office, and when he opens it it's usually to say something fairly serious.

Judge Garzon believes that a guy named Amer Azizi, an important Al Qaeda operative in Spain, is the connection between the Al Qaeda cell behind 9-11 and the other Al Qaeda cell behind 3-11. Azizi and Said Barraj were present at an Al Qaeda summit in Istanbul in October 2000 and Azizi organized the meeting in Tarragona before 9-11 where the final plans were apparently laid down. Said Barraj is wanted--there's an international warrant out on him--as a 3-11 conspirator. These two guys are the link. This same bunch of people, the Terrorist International, were behind ALL the terrorist bombings, not to mention a major player in Iraq. I cannot believe that anyone in his right mind can fail to see that we, the West, are at war with these people, and Zap's saying "Well, we don't want to fight, so please don't attack us anymore" is not going to work.

By the way, there is heavy speculation that the still unidentified seventh terrorist killed when they blew up the Leganes apartment is either Barraj or Azizi.

Here is the dumbest thing La Vanguardia has done for a long time. On the front page, a jump headline says, "Mark Spitz states that US may not compete in Olympics". Well, it turns out that Mark Spitz got interviewed by the BBC and he said something about maybe the Americans won't go to Athens because it will be too dangerous. Now, Mark Spitz is a private citizen who doesn't know any more about it than you or I do. He's not on the Olympic Committee or the Swimming Federation or whatever; he's just a guy who won a bunch of medals 32 years ago. Yet they stick this on the front page. Sheesh.