IBERIAN NOTES GOES DOWNMARKET!

Well, of course, first we need the porn, so here are those photos of Britney Spears bottomless that you might have heard about. Sure looks intentional to me. For publicity purposes, I assume. Well, she's gotten plenty. Let's see if this starts a trend.

Second, we need celebrity scandal, so click on perezhilton.com to find out who's doing cocaine and who's gay and who's had nasty plastic surgery. Perez, who is apparently good with colors himself, calls on the following closet cases to come out: "Anderson Cooper, Jodie Foster, Kevin Spacey, Clay Aiken, Queen Latifah, Ricky Martin, Matt Dallas, Wentworth Miller, Richard Simmons, (and) Sean Hayes." I'm not sure who most of these people are--Jodie Foster and Kevin Spacey are of course real movie stars, Ricky Martin is a real pop star, and Richard Simmons is a way over-the-hill TV guy. Never heard of the rest. But, in case you were wondering, they're gay.

Now, sports. In case you haven't seen it, or want to see it again, here is the video of Ronaldinho's goal "a la chilena" last week against Villarreal. It's definitely the best goal of the year--and I would argue the second best in the history of FC Barcelona. This one, by Rivaldo, is the best. Artistically, both goals rate a 10. But Ronaldinho's was scored late in a 4-0 walkover of a mediocre team. Rivaldo's was scored the last day of the season in the dying minutes of what was going to be a loss to Valencia, which would have knocked Barça out of European competition for the first time ever. Talk about in the clutch--Rivaldo's goal gave Barça the last-minute draw and clinched them a spot in Europe.

Next, we need the violence, so here's the video of the greatest NBA fight ever and the most famous movie scene ever.

And transvestites!