There's really not any particularly exciting news from around here. La Vanguardia is floating some cockamamie rumor about Spain sending troops to Haiti, of all places, rather than reinforcing the contingent in Afghanistan, as they promised they would do. Where are the screaming crouds howling, "ZAP LIED!!!"?

Meanwhile, Bush says we're not going to bail out on the Iraqis. Transfer of sovereignty will happen on June 30 as scheduled, but an American-led occupation force will stay on for a one-year renewable period. Sounds fair enough to me.

The news cycle of the Abu Ghraib abuses seems to have run its course here; the Royal Wedding broke it up. The situation still looks ugly. I want to know who approved what. And my position on torture is that I understand, and approve of, I suppose, using psychological stress on people we have a very good reason to want to interrogate. Like, say, somebody who got caught carrying a gun and shooting at US forces. I mean things like sleep deprivation, heavy metal music, intensive questioning, lie detector tests, and the like. The Spanish police are known to do all these things, as I suppose are many US police forces. Sexual humiliation: no. Physical tortures: no way, in no situation.

Seems that Zap has decided that he wants to renegotiate the various Statutes of Autonomy that the various autonomous regions of Spain have. The PP asked him to explain and specify exactly what he was talking about. Zap responded that it would depend on whichever autonomous region was in question. In other words, Zap has no plan. He's just responding to the demands of the Republican Left of Catalonia for a revision of the Catalan statute of autonomy; he'll give them what they want. Since nobody else except the Basques really wants any changes, this amounts to giving the regional nationalists pretty much a blank check. Oh, well, I'm generally in favor of a smaller central government, and especially in handling decisions that affect people at the lowest level possible. That is, I'd like to give the municipality as much power as possible; in various parts of the US, municipalities are in charge of education, police and fire protection, water and sewer administration, transport through the city limits, and other important suchlike things; they also have the power to tax. Then, the county handles things that are too big for the municipality. The state handles things that are too big for the county. The federal government handles things that are too big for the states. Decentralize everything you can as far as possible. I like that system.

The problem is that most Cataloonies don't want to decentralize; they want to recentralize. That is, they want to move as many of the powers of the central Spanish government to the regional autonomous Catalan government--but then they don't want to transfer any powers to the smaller organs of government. More Catalan autonomy would simply mean more power for Barcelona and less for Madrid. I will wager that Tàrrega and Cervera and Montblanc and Verdú and Guissona and Agramunt and Santa Coloma de Queralt and Esplugues de Francolí, just to name a few small cities I am fond of, will not get too much more say in their own municipal and subregional affairs.

Zap promises 400 more antiterrorist cops to work against international terrorism in the next 18 months. If he keeps this promise I'll give him the necessary props.

Two bad guys busted out of the courthouse at Prat de Llobregat; they grabbed a gun off a cop and shot and killed him. Then there was a general shootout and a painter on a nearby scaffolding was wounded. At least ten shots were fired. The bad guys carjacked somebody and fled at high speed toward home. They're still looking for these guys in the Sant Cosme area, which is about as bad as any neighborhood in Spain. I certainly wouldn't go there for any reason. Nobody who wasn't looking to buy heroin would go there. Needless to say, these two are gypsies. One of them has eight outstanding warrants, including armed robbery and murder, and has been arrested 16 times; the other has been arrested 30 times for armed robbery and theft. Can we please hang guys with warrants out on them for murder and armed robbery who murder a cop? Or would that be uncivilized and barbaric? This is not the first time escaping prisoners have murdered a cop; in a very similar incident in October 2001, one guy who, get this, was out on a Dukakislike prison furlough, sneaked up behind two cops who were transferring another guy from the hospital back to jail and shot them in the back. One was killed and the other paralyzed. The two escapees then murdered a man and raped a woman before being recaptured. Can we please hang them, too? Or would that be inappropriate?

Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-compassion. I honestly believe that, what with three thousand years of Judeo-Christian ethics behind us, not to mention 2500 years of Greco-Roman ethics, not to mention 1500 years of Catholic ethics, not to mention 500 years of Renaissance / Reformation / Enlightenment ethics, we have an obligation to the less fortunate. All of those different ethical systems clearly point to that stark staring moral fact, whether you're into Kant, Socrates, Mill, or the Bible. I vote we help out whoever needs it; I think we can actually afford that. But when a guy starts hurting other people in order to get what he wants, that's where compassion ends. Right there.

I'm not sure how smart this move is. Until now kids at age 14 have been able to ride a 49cc moped with a basic license. Technically they're considered mopeds, "motorized bicycles", rather than motorbikes. You can't go more than 60 kph or ride on divided highways. The Government is going to raise the age to 16. Now, at age 16, you've always been able to get a license allowing you to ride a 125cc motorbike. Those bikes are powerful enough to ride on the freeway. (You can't get a license to drive a car until 18.) So what this move is basically going to do is kill off the 49cc motorbike in favor of the 125cc, since no one will bother with a 49cc license when they can get one to ride a more powerful and more useful 125cc. Last year 20 kids under 16 were killed in moped wrecks; 350 were injured. 5,300 people were killed in vehicle accidents throught Spain. Still, you've got to wonder what the Law of Unintended Consequences is going to say about this one.

They're barely bothering to plug the Forum. Supposedly, they got 115,000 visitors last week, 6,000 more than last week, but "short of the goal of 125,000". Now, this is moving the goalposts, because before they were talking about an average crowd of 35,000 a day to break even, which sounds like a goal of 245,000 a week to me. Here's today's scare story: "The Forum yesterday welcomed 1,200 youths between 14 and 18 years old from Barcelona, Lleida, Sant Feliu, and El Prat, who presented their conclusions after a year of work and reflection in their various hometowns. The great majority of them coincided in the necessity of resolving conflicts with violence and demanded a "culture of peace". The director of the Forum, Jaume Pagés, promised to present the students' projects to UNESCO." Wonder what would have happened to a kid who supported the War on Terrorism and believed that Spain must strike back against the criminals of March 11? Remember that name, Jaume Pagés. When we take over he's the first up against the wall...

(CHORUS: And it's up against the wall, redneck mother
The mother who raised her son so well
He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky-tonk
Just a-kickin' hippies' asses and raisin' hell...)

Big T: I assume you can name the singer.

Well, the soccer season's over, with Valencia pulling off the double, winning both the Spanish League and the UEFA Cup. Congratulations to them on a great season. Barcelona came in second. Madrid crashed and burned. Their coach, Queiroz, has already been fired, and they're going to bring in José Antonio Camacho for next year, this time apparently for real. I would not be surprised if Figo leaves before next season if he has a big Eurocup. As for signings, now Barça is going to resign Cocu and now they're not; now they're going to resign Davids and now he's going to Inter Milan. Kluivert and Overmars are for sale to any idiot who might want to buy them. Reiziger is also gone. It's clear if Barça can't sign Davids then they need to buy another experienced player of similar characteristics and pay what it costs, since his acquisition was the turning point of the season for Barcelona.