The Weekly Standard has a lovely bash-piece on Doctor Demento, Howard Dean, the Great Left Hope for the Dem presidential nomination in 2004. I would personally love to see Dean win the nomination: 50-state victory for Bush, for sure. Dean takes DC and its three electoral votes. Here's a paragraph:
There is Republican Red America, and there is Democratic Blue America, and there is this evening's crowd at Dave and Missie Schroeder's house, which is probably as blue as you can get without being sucked into a colorless void. After Dean, parked between the sink and stove, delivers an abbreviated--and notably "progressive"--version of his standard spiel, he opens it up to questions and comments. Whereupon one respectable-looking, articulate, and deadly earnest lady announces that she's "terrified" over a rumor that "at the next election, George Bush is going to drag out the war and declare a national emergency and suspend the election." Dean makes no effort to reassure her. "I've actually heard that," he says, with a facetious, speculative aside about whether "that's in the Patriot Act or not." Another guest wonders if Dean can identify the one question he'd most like to ask George Bush in a televised general-election debate--if, that is, the president could be shamed into debating him in the first place. "Who's your favorite philosopher?" comes the governor's reply. The Schroeder house fills with knowing, derisive laughter.
Maybe it's an urban legend, but I remember reading that this actually happened during the early stages of the primary campaign before the last election. It's a debate in some little town in Iowa and some joker asks the candidates precisely that question. First candidate says Descartes or whatever. Second guy says John Locke or whatever. Third guy says Socrates or whatever. It's Bush's turn at bat. He steps up to the plate and whacks that hanging curveball right over the left-centerfield fence: "Jesus Christ". Walk-off home run. Debate over.