I think I've figured out precisely what exotic act "una catalana" ought to refer to. I mean, all the other ones--a French, a Cuban, a Greek--are things that give men pleasure. Since the Catalan powers that be keep going on about how liberal and progressive and all that we ought to be, it seems only appropriate that "una catalana" be an act that provides pleasure to women.

So let's think for a minute. What is it that women like? Well, flowers and jewelry are bullshit. That's stuff that no one has any real use for; they're just shit that men are supposed to buy to keep women happy. Chocolate is a much better answer.

But there's one thing that women like even better than chocolate.

And that thing is oral pleasure.

Give a woman oral pleasure and she's yours. I mean, you can get her to agree to just about anything as long as she's getting the oral pleasure. (Should you wind up marrying her, first thing to remember is that you better get your tongue in proper physical condition.)

So what do you say, guys? Let's become famous for the oral pleasure we provide to our women, and to any other chicks who come our way as well. Soon we'll be notorious as the folks who best know how to please women around the world. "Una catalana" will be requested by women from Singapore to San Francisco, and we'll be the guys who know how to provide it.

What are you waiting for? Go out there already and make us famous!