The Vangua has some good ones today, for a change. I guess everyone has finally slept off his hangover and gotten over his two-week holiday break. The top international affairs story is President Bush's proposal to provide illegal aliens with guest worker status, allowing them to stay for a period of three years. Their permits will be renewable. Also, in the future, employers will be permitted to recruit employees overseas, who will receive guest worker permits. Finally, the number of "green cards"--permanent residence permits--that are issued will be increased.

Not even La Vangua can manage to spin this one completely negatively, as it points out that former illegals, besides all the other advantages of having legal status, will receive at least the minimum wage and will receive all the laboral rights that citizens have. It mentions that there is a security aspect to Bush's plan: that it'll give us a lot better idea of who's in the country. The Vanguardia says there are 8 million illegal immigrants in the States, a figure I find hard to believe--I'd guess there are maybe a million or two--but it is sort of dumb to fingerprint people coming with a visa and not to find out who's living here illegally. And it is pretty generous to offer legal guest worker status to those illegals in exchange for their identifying themselves. If Bush wanted to he could have La Migra kick down every restaurant kitchen door in California and run 'em all out on the next southbound train.

Naturally, though, instead of a generous offer to the poorest people in America, instead of a helping hand to the people who do the dirtiest work in our society, instead of a recognition that "the system isn't working", to quote Bush, instead of the fruit of the President's experience as governor of the number two state in illegals, instead of a logical and necessary security measure, instead of a plan with such leftist-loved effects as people (mostly of the poor brown variety) getting better working conditions and incomes and health care and education, not to mention the protection of the laws, the Vangua says that Bush made his proposal--for electoral purposes! Yep, that's right, Bush is trying to nail down the Hispanic vote. As if he had anything to worry about with a 59% approval rating and Howard Dean as the prospective Dem candidate.

Baltasar Porcel is back, and the dude be wack. Rather than translate all four paragraphs, we'll just do the first sentence:

I've seen the third "Lord of the Rings" movie, which might be fairly good with an hour less of battles, with its dark, spectacular backgrounds full of special effects.

And the last one:

Everything a religious black or white, with wholesale war: Bush.

You don't want to know how exactly he manages to get from the beginning to the end, though.

Plagiarist, thief, and liar Marius Serra would like you to know that he's happy about the Brazilian measure to fingerprint Yankees, to use his term, entering Brazil. See, Mr. Serra thinks that

if someone takes your hand and passes it over (a scanner) it is an intimate act, of an almost sexual nature, so without the required consent such a maneuver could be considered sexual abuse.

He doesn't mention that if you show up at US Immigration and ask to be permitted to pass through, you are giving your consent to being photographed or fingerprinted, and to having your baggage or self searched. If you do not wish to give such consent, don't show up at US Immigration asking to get in. And, come on, sexual abuse? Porcel be wack, but this dude be smokin crack.

...the always envious Jones of Connecticut will decide to...visit Mexico entering the Aztec nation illegally, where so many wetbacks escaped from the Migra. They will survive and their experience will cause other intrepid couples to enjoy the pleasures of reciprocity. How about Cuba?

And, if we're going to be reciprocal, the Americans have so many countries to choose from! Not just on their continent. Also in Europe, Asia, Africa, and Oceania, a progressive American citizen can find many nations to visit in order to be abused. All he needs is a small desire to experience for himself the adventures that his successive governments have gone on here, there, and everywhere.

Now, if I get this straight, Mr. Liar and Thief is getting all moral and saying the United States is bad and so are its citizens, Mr. and Mrs. Jones from Connecticut, and so they ought to be treated badly as individuals so that the Poor and Abused of This World, among whom rich, fortunate Mr. Serra certainly counts himself, can get some revenge. I guess that'll make Mr. Serra feel better about himself and his own powerless power unit.

That's infantile and stupid. I expect no less from Mr. Serra.