My pal Murph came over this morning and we got cranking on the porno translations; if this job turns out well, which we think it will, we have a lot more similar work coming. We got them finished in record time, it isn't difficult at all. What we are figuring is that the most important part is to make sure the pervos correctly understand how to pay. We were very careful about getting that exactly right, as we were about the various legal disclaimers. We actually don't think the rest of the text matters too much at all. The site we translated is one of those "Barely Legal" ones that feature young-looking girls; the owner proclaims that all models are 18 or over and openly offers a list of the modeling agencies that he hired the girls from, several of them in Hungary and the rest in Britain, so we figure he's legit and that nothing unethical is going on here. We have no ethical problem about providing the necessary material that pervos need as long as no minors or animals are involved and nobody really gets hurt. As Remei says, "If it's legal, money is money." Her very Catholic dad used to be the doorman at a cabaret, which was the thirty-years-ago equivalent of a strip club, so I bet that's where she came up with that expression.

Ali of True Porn Clerk Stories says that 100% of the pervos that rent barely legal videos are men over 45, so we figure that's the market our translations are aiming at. We did a little "research" with Google for barely legal sites in Spanish and discovered that they contain a lot of diminutives, especially to refer to parts of the female anatomy. The plot of the text that accompanies the photos always contains some reference to not being ashamed or embarrassed, which we figure is supposed to reassure the pervos, who are quite likely ashamed of themselves. The text emphasizes that the girls in the photo like to "play", which reminds the pervo that these girls are young and contains connotations of innocence, but it also emphasizes that the girls are inviting you, the pervo, to come and play with them. They are willing partners. They want to play with you. They like to play. It's OK because the girls like it. So you're not a bad person if you like it, too. At least, that's what the website is telling the pervo. Also, there's always a section in which the model "addresses" the viewer directly and explains how much she likes taking off her clothes and how sexually excited it makes her. This section is always full of juvenile slang, as if it had really been written by a teenager. Somewhere in here the girl "says" that she's always wanted to be a porno model and she's so happy that she's old enough now. The price of the service, by the way, is $35 a month, so they're not aiming at the "let's look up a porno site for fun" market here. They're aiming at real porno fans who have enough money to pay thirty-five bucks to look at pictures of 19-year-olds with pigtails wearing Catholic school uniforms exposing their genitals. The masturbating-with-a-stuffed-animal motif is also popular, as is playing with a hose, I suppose because of its connotations, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.