All of you already know that Wednesday or Thursday is War Day. The Vanguardia's headline today is "Bush to attack in 48 hours if Saddam not exiled; President demands Iraqi leader and sons leave country; Washington asks Iraqi Army to surrender and collaborate; UN orders evacuation, embassies close; Blair faces resignation of minister Robin Cook." Yesterday it was: "Definitive ultimatum from Bush, Blair, and Aznar; USA, UK, and Spain certify alliance against Saddam; Three Presidents (sic) give UN 24 hours for agreement; Bush may announce attack on Iraq tonight if diplomacy fails." I won't go into detail about my opinion, except to say, "Finally. About goddamn time." The Vangua is furiously backpedaling, trying to ride on both sides of the center line; Alfredo Abian, in the page 2 editorial, says that Saddam is a murderer, that the gas attack on Halabja was made with French Mirage planes, and, get this, "Neither Jacques Chirac nor other European actors are saying this, but they, at least, should be reproached for a degree of cynicism as elevated as that attributed to the USA." So we're all cynical, even the French. How about this: "The French are as cynical as Talleyrand, while the Americans are as cynical as Wilson". Wilson was a damn fool, and so are we for not having taken Saddam out at least twelve months ago and for having asked the worthless UN for permission. By the way, everybody is forgetting about Portuguese Prime Minister Jose Durao Barroso, who stands firmly with the Alliance against Saddam, who was the host of the meeting in the Azores, and who signed all the documents that the other three leaders did. I vote we give three cheers for Portugal and its gutsy Prime Minister.

Bush's complete speech is transcribed on page 4 of the Vanguardia, which I have to admit is very good about this kind of thing, since it considers itself the newspaper of record in Catalonia. I won't discuss it except to say I think it was a damn good speech, clear and concise and laying out America's case. No bullshit. Mr. Bush is not a bullshitter. Mr. Clinton certainly was. This is why the Old Europeans, those expert bullshit-flingers, loved Clinton and hate Bush.

Want some Frog bullshit? Here's some from Dominique de Villepin (hasn't anybody made fun of this guy for being a pantywaist effeminate sissy purse-carrying Frenchman with a girl's name? Typical Gallic girly-man. Iberian Notes, your one-stop blog for immature juvenile sophomorica.) He says the war isn't necessary, that there's not a majority that voted for it (uh, Dommy, the majority of the people in the pro-war democratic states, of which I count 16 out of 19 in NATO and twelve or fifteen others in Eastern Europe, not to mention Japan and Australia and several Latin American governments who are prudently keeping quiet about it, voted for the governments that are now deciding for war. Who cares what a bunch of Third World dictators of shithole ex-French colonies think?), and he went so far as to rebuke Bush for using an expression that comes from poker when Bush said that Paris "had shown its cards". Said snotty Dommy, "Comparing the current situation with a game of poker does not reflect reality". Go wipe your nose, Dommy, it's dripping on your shirt. Dommy! Didn't Daddy tell you always to carry a Kleenex in your pocket? Will you ever grow up...Now, Dommy, remember, big boys don't cry...

The Vangua is also reporting that Aznar's goal is to become America's leading European partner, after Britain, of course. Well, he's worked pretty hard to gain America's confidence, and he deserves it. I also vote that the United States should take Mr. Aznar and Spain very seriously in the future, since Aznar has behaved responsibly where other European leaders have failed. They're trying to talk up a Parliamentary revolt against Aznar, but there's one problem: Aznar's PP has an absolute majority in the parliament and every one of his 183 deputies is behind him all the way. There have been zero defections. Zero. That's because the PP is a well-organized, professional political party, unlike the pathetically unprofessional and unprepared Socialists. Anyone used to American or British politics can only laugh at the Socialists' incompetence, because they should have been able to knock Aznar's approval rating down to about seven percent what with the oil spill, the water plan, the problems with the high-speed train, the education bill, the slow economy, and the unpopular war on Iraq. The Socialists do not constitute serious opposition. They're divided and weak besides being stupid and incompetent, with an incoherent populist message and a leader who is as dumb (ever heard Zapatero answer questions at a press conference? He's as unprepared as they incorrectly accuse Bush of being) as any other in the world.

Chirac is demanding "one or two months more" of inspections. Sit down and shut up. You have lost and you have lost badly. Your only hope is for the attack to be a disaster. You are hoping at this moment for a lot of American and British soldiers to die, and you are hoping they will kill a lot of innocent Iraqi civilians so that they will look like the bad guys. I have never used this phrase before in the thirteen months of this blog's existence, but I'm going to now. Fuck you, Jacques Chirac, and fuck you, France, for having elected him. And double fuck-you for putting your stupid selves in the stupid position of having to choose between him and Le Pen. Michele Alliot-Marie, the French defense minister, said while touring the Gulf states that France will not take part in any war not backed by the Security Council, but will participate in the postwar phase. Dream on. Next time anyone consults France about anything will be about 2087. Way to go, Jacques. You could have had Washington and London and Madrid and Rome and Tokyo as friends. You could have led a strong and united European Union into a transatlantic alliance in which the EU would have counted for something. Now you have Moscow and Baghdad. Berlin will be your friend until Schroeder goes, which will be within weeks, and Germany will then become more pro-American than the Americans themselves in order to avoid being consigned to the same international cryogenic freezer as France will be. (And have you ever heard of anyone frozen cryogenically being resuscitated? I haven't.) As for your pal Saddam, he will not be alive on Friday. Looks like you French are about to find out whether you like borscht and vodka better than McDonald's. I suppose Jose Bove is happy.

The Pope is pissed off at the US, UK, and Spain. He is worried about the fact that "only three leaders are deciding about the situation" and claims that an attack on Iraq could have "tremendous consequences for the suffering people of Iraq and the Middle East". He also goes on about the UN and international law and peaceful solutions and negotiations and working responsibly for peace and fomenting extermism.

Well, I'm pissed off at the Pope, and I repeat that this mistake will cost him his place in history. The man who would have been remembered 100 years from now as the Pope who stood up to Communism will now be remembered as the Pope who kissed Saddam's ass. If Catholics are offended--I'm especially hoping not to make Jesus Gil, whose opinion I respect, angry--I'm sorry, that's not my intention, but if the Pope speaks up on international issues he runs the risk of being harshly criticized. And if the Pope speaks foolishly and behaves disgracefully, which he has done just like Chirac and Schroeder, he deserves to be raked over the coals in the same way. He doesn't get a free pass for being a religious leader, especially since he is the only religious leader who governs an internationally recognized state.

Said archbishop Renato Martino, another Old European in a high position in the Church (others include papal nuncio in Iraq Fernanco Filoni and his secretary Jean-Francois Lantheaume. I want to see one surname other than Wojytla of an important person in the hierarchy that isn't Italian, French, or Spanish. I bet there are some with Portuguese names, and I bet that's it) on Radio Vatican, "The war is a crime against peace that calls for vengeance before God." Does this mean that Aznar is going to hell? That's sure what "vengeance before God" sounds like to me. Shouldn't Aznar and Berlusconi be excommunicated, along with all other pro-war Catholics? Does this mean they won't let Tony Blair in when he converts after his term as PM is over?