The Vangua has a two-page interview today with Romano Prodme, boss of the European Commission. Prodme is an Italian Socialist. Most of the interview is a load of wank, but there are a few little pearls here.

Interviewer: Do you belong to the old Europe that Donald Rumsfeld, the American secretary of defense, has just criticized?
Prodme: Yes, yes, yes! I belong to the wise Europe, and I've said that it isn't age, it's wisdom. This has been my answer, because countries like Germany and France, which have turned their history of doubts and tragedies around and who are now together, are wise countries.

I: ...Chirac and Schröder have defended a multilateral concept of international relations anchored on the United Nations against the unilateral tension of the U.S. Are we beginning to see the real question?
P: Yes, but it's not the first time we've seen the problem. Last summer's debates over the International Criminal Court were of the same kind, like the debates over the Kyoto protocol. In every case, I've declared myself in favor of multilateral cooperation. i think, in the long term, that it will not be possible to have a unipolar world.

I: Are relations between the UE and the US entering a crisis?
P: Yes. There are problems...these political differences are very worrying.

I: You just told European Voice that Bush should stay out of European affairs.
P: That is another problem. I have never made a speech saying that Mexico should form part of the United States. I already said it to Clinton when we were talking together about Turkey and I repeat it now: it's our business. And, from my point of view, the pressures over the subject of the International Criminal Court and the expansion (of the EU) are interference. Enough! Stop! It's clear. The rules and the size of the European Union are totally European problems, and this is why we have to open a debate about how to transmit to the Europeans the idea that we are the actors of our destiny, the protagonists of our future. We, with all due friendship with
the Americans.

So much for multilateralism, which means to Prodme, "Let us tell you what to do and then you go ahead and do it. Our business is our business and your business is our business, but our business isn't your business." So America can't encourage Europe to admit Turkey, which Prodme is against; America can't refuse to let a bunch of foreigners try its soldiers and government officials, which Prodme is for; America can't set its own environmental standards, which Prodme is against; and America can't defend itself as it sees fit, which Prodme is against. However, the EU can tell Americans that they won't let Turkey into their little club no matter what and so we should shut up (oh, I forgot, the Europeans are in favor of negotiations. For other people), that they want the right to put our country's official representatives on trial whether we think they've done anything wrong or not, that we have to live by whatever environmental standards they deem appropriate, and that we have to consult them before defending ourselves. They can also tell us to stop executing murderers, not to plant genetically-modified seeds, to give away lots of money to Third World dictatorships, to refrain from collecting money owed us, to permit anyone who wants to immigrate to do so, and that we're generally a bunch of simplistic, stupid, racist, uncultured, arrogant, ill-mannered, aggressive, fanatical shits. Should you dare to talk back, like Donald Rumsfeld did in a tone much more delicate than the typical European strident howling, buckets of scurn will be dumped on your head.

What I would like to see, when the Iraq war is over, is for George W. Bush to say, "You know, you Europeans are right. We should stay out of your business. Therefore we are withdrawing from the UN and from NATO. All UN officials and delegates will lose their diplomatic license plates and pay all back parking tickets, including a 100% fine, and will be summarily deported. We will proceed to make bilateral or multilateral agreements with the countries we see fit regarding international cooperation. All other countries are perfectly free to do the same. No, I'm sorry, Mr. Prodme, I just don't have time to talk with you now, as I have some allies to visit with. Schedule's pretty much booked up, you know. Now, Mr. Meggyesy, what were you saying about a Hungarian-American commercial agreement? Why don't we call up Mr. Blair and Mr. Howard and a few of your neighbors to see if they want to join, too? What is that, Condi? A message from who? Gearhead Schröder? Is that guy still in office? Tell his successor we'll call him."