The Vanguardia is reporting that Colin Powell says the war is going to begin "shortly after" the next UN inspectors' report on March 7. They also say the Pentagon wants to attack during the new moon, which will be March 3-11; that fits with shortly after March 7, and that the Americans want to attack before the Iraqi desert starts heating up in April. That all makes sense, at least to me. Anyway, Powell is in Peking trying to bring the Chinese around. Aznar has apparently been given the mission of trying to bring around some of the Arab countries; he called up Qaddafi, of all people, and he's going to talk to the kings of Morocco and Jordan in an effort to gain their support. The king of Spain might get to do something useful here; the Spanish and Jordanian royal families are known to get on well. Our king has no power but theirs does, and if Juanca can actually influence Abdullah, he'll have earned his salary this year.

The EU foreign ministers are meeting today in Brussels. Aznar is going to talk to Chirac on Wednesday; Chirac will be back from his visit to Schröder by then. The Americans will be leaning on Security Council members Angola, Cameroon, and Guinea, whose votes are more or less openly for sale; Pakistan, who will find it very difficult to do more than abstain in the face of a pro-Iraqi public opinion; and Chile and Mexico, both of whom would probably like to vote with the Americans but are afraid their voters will interpret it as selling out to the gringos. There is considerably more anti-American feeling in Mexico than in Chile; on his way to see Bush in Texas over the weekend, Aznar stopped off to see Vicente Fox in Mexico. I have no idea how much good that did. Syria is out of the question; they're not even bothering to try.

The rumor is out that the US, the UK, Spain, and Italy will co-sponsor a second UN resolution this week on the use of force against Iraq. I'm not sure why the Vanguardia says Italy, since they're not on the Security Council. Bulgaria is on the Security Council and is the fourth sure vote the Alliance has. Chile is a likely five. The three African votes make eight. Mexico and Pakistan both look like pretty tough nuts to crack for a yes vote. French foreign minister Dominique de Villepin is now saying that he sees no reason for a second resolution and that UN inspections should continue. Hans Blix, meanwhile, said that "Iraq has no credibility, and if they ever had any they lost it in 1991". Blix, working for the supposedly neutral UN and a native of historically neutral country Sweden, seems more put out by Saddam than do Chirac and Schröder, leaders of former US allies.

The Vangua is trying to float the rumor that Bush is mongering war so he can get reelected. Let's see, first it was the oil, then it was the water, then it was the media, then it was testing out the weapons for the arms manufacturers, and now it's getting reelected. Any other ulterior motives out there for grabbing Saddam and hanging him off a lamppost? Oh, yeah, could be because Bush knows Saddam is a threat to peace and stability and has to go somewhere, either into exile on the French Riviera next door to Baby Doc Duvalier or, preferably, straight to hell. Naah, that's too obvious. Can't possibly be true. There's gotta be a conspiracy somewhere, and if we can't find one we'll just make it up.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fnord.

They gave Pedro Almodóvar another award, this time in England. Mr. Mushroom Hair took advantage of the occasion to say something monumentally goofy that nobody understood and which he failed to explain. It was something about America being a dark force. I think somebody ought to take a two-by-four to Mr. Almodóvar. Oh, I don't mean beat him half to death, just smack him across the butt a couple of times. Even better, we could hold him down and shave his head. Serious violence is reserved for Chevy Chase. God, I hate Chevy Chase. Even more than I hate Joe Piscopo.