Well, NATO has agreed to defend Turkey. The Dutch are going to send three Patriot batteries. NATO will send at least several of its AWACS, and chemical weapons cleanup teams will be sent. This stuff won't be all ready to go for a month.

Our prediction of war by February 18 was, obviously, wrong. I don't doubt, though, that war will eventually happen. Last weekend's demos had absolutely no effect on Alliance plans, I am sure. It seems, though, that there are obviously some preparations that could be made that haven't been made yet, but when are we going to decide that enough preparation is enough? I mean, we have around 200,000 soldiers in the area, the Brits have 30,000 more, and there are at least four aircraft carriers in the vicinity. Aren't we ready yet? I know that logistics is a lot more complicated and difficult than we civilians usually think and that it takes time to prepare dozens of different units for different tasks and make sure they're all going to get the job done right. In a sense, the longer we prepare, the better chance we'll have for a quick and bloodless win, since our army in the area is getting stronger at a much faster rate than Saddam's, which right now is as strong as it's ever giong to get. However, I can't think of any other good reason to postpone the attack. Well, I can. There are a few possibilities: 1) we're trying to foment a coup in Baghdad or a Skorzeny-type commando mission to grab Saddam and are waiting to see how it turns out 2) we're really going to wait until we get another UN resolution authorizing force in order not to dynamite the UN and NATO 3) the Pentagon is behaving like Lincoln's general McClellan and is unwilling to make a decision. (Lincoln to his secretary John Hay while reviewing McClellan's army: "Why, Hay, what is all this?" Hay: "Why, Mr. President, it's the Army of the Potomac." Lincoln (loudly): "No, no, Hay, this is General McClellan's bodyguard." Irate citizen to Lincoln: "General Grant is a drunk!" Lincoln: "He fights. Find out which brand of whiskey he drinks so I can supply some to my other generals.")

Munir Al Motassadeq, a Moroccan, was convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison in a Hamburg court as part of a conspiracy to murder in the September 11 attacks. 15 years was the maximum penalty the judge could impose. Al Motassadeq was a member of Mohammed Atta's Hamburg cell that carried out the attacks.

Some idiotarian and idiot Catalans, 18 of 'em, have shown up in Baghdad to serve as human shields. They've been on the Saddam tour of the city and are bursting with venom for the Americans who blow up baby-milk factories and the like. They're very proud of themselves because they consider that they are an obstacle for Bush's warlike plans. I hope they don't get killed in the attack--they say openly that in case there's an actual attack they're going to scoot--but getting them back home after the war is over does not need to be one of our top priorities. And, of course, our knowledge that some of these nutso volunteers, who are going around calling themselves the "International Brigades", are at a military target, should by no means impede us from blowing up said target.

The French are whining about the irritated rumblings coming their way from America and are spinning to make the US the villains of the piece. It seems that a sinister Republican cabal, in the hands of the powerful American aerospace industry, is organizing the proposed boycott of French wine and cheese to force American airlines to buy American-made planes instead of French Airbuses. So say les grenouilles.

All I can say every time I read the latest news from the Vatican is "Holy Mary, Mother of God, how can you permit this stuff to go on?" Radio Vatican director Pasquale Borgomeo, yet another Latin European in the high ranks of the hierarchy, said that President Bush should "listen to the voice of the street, represented by those 110 million people (sic) who demonstrated last Saturday around the world and sent a very precise message to the politicians." He said that America was "ruled by an Administration which has conferred upon itself a mission of salvation. Despite the messages of the European allies and of the citizens, Bush seems to consider diplomacy as an irritating waste of time, international law as a bothersome stick between the spokes, the UN as a club of sophists." As for the demonstrations, they were "The most positive signal of globalization" because they "were a response to the fear that some governments are sowing." And, of course, "this war, each day that passes, seems more unjustified." Well, Mr. High and Mighty Vatican Radio Director, why don't you go bugger a teenage boy to make yourself feel better? Jesus Christ. As if the Vatican hadn't done enough to destroy its moral credibility already, now they're defending Saddam Hussein, after planting a big squishy one on apostate Tariq Aziz's ass. You know, over here in Europe, the Church has not learned the lesson of the pederasty scandals in America; they're still in denial and claim it's the result of an anti-Catholic campaign in the media.

There's a rumor going around the international press that there are three Iraqi mystery ships in the Indian Ocean just sailing around (illegally) under radio silence. These large (35,000 ton) cargo ships contain Saddam's hoard of weapons, says the rumor. They dock in certain Arab ports, especially in Yemen, to refuel and restock provisions. I'll have to see it to believe it, myself.

You may have heard that Jeb Bush visited Madrid earlier in the week and made a gaffe, referring to Prime Minister Aznar as the "President of the Spanish Republic." Spain is, of course, a monarchy. When Jeb later met Juan Carlos, the King made a joke: "Oh, you're the King of America's brother." Jeb also came to Barcelona and met with Jordi Pujol last night; they spoke in Spanish because, for once, an American politician speaks better Spanish than Pujol does English. Pujol has a very rough accent when he speaks English, but except for that his English is very good. He's a polyglot; he can speak French and German as well. Juan Carlos, as well as the rest of the royal family, speaks perfect English.

The cops busted fourteen punks in the Basque Country. They are accused of being ETA minor-leaguers, right now just collaborators waiting to make the big time. Several of them have police records for rioting and street violence, and several of them hold office in Jarrai or whatever it calls itself now, the ETA youth branch. I think the most appropriate punishment for a bunch of stupid punks like these guys would be a public caning on the bare buttocks--say, six strokes of the cane, hard enough to hurt like hell--and then an hour in the public stocks. Citizens would be urged to toss rotten eggs and tomatoes and the like. Perhaps baseball pitchers or cricket bowlers could be hired to provide a display of their throwing abilities. None of that would do too much damage, and it would be a massive deterrent. Public humiliation. People really do fear it.

Racist and anti-Semitic fool José Martí Gómez says in today's Vangua that America is just using the Aznar Government for its own purposes and will throw Spain aside when it is in American interests. Mr. Martí Gómez says that, for example, when Morocco demands the return of Ceuta and Melilla, which side will Washington choose? Uh, José, I think we'll choose Spain's side, since we acknowledge Spain's sovereignty over Ceuta and Mellilla. Also, Spain's a member of NATO and Morocco is not. Besides, gee, what if we decide it's more in our interest to be allied with wealthy, democratic Spain instead of poor, oppressed Morocco?

La Vanguardia has some wanker named Andy Robinson signed up as correspondent from New York. He's a far-lefty and writes only articles critical of the United States in some way. Today his spiel is that the big American TV networks are pushing for a war because they'll make a lot of money selling commercials during the live coverage. This is a brand-new meme; I've only seen it once before, spouted by Baltasar Porcel himself, but I have a feeling that we're going to see more of it, as it fits right in with the far-lefty conspiracy theory that says that either the government controls the media or the media controls the government and no matter which, they're up to something nefarious together. Says one Robin Anderson, who is billed as holding a Ph.D. in communication studies from Fordham, which along with 99 cents will get you a cup of coffee anywhere outside academia and whom Robinson probably picked up in a bar somewhere, "The war will be reported according to the advertisers' guidelines...it will be turned into a sort of reality show...imagine the viewer advancing shoulder-to-shoulder with a soldier through the streets of Baghdad. A lot of new technologies can be used and the viewer will feel empowered...We'll see great interest by companies for ads directed basically at young men, beer, cars, SUVs." Ms. Anderson and Mr. Robinson seem to believe that it's not about the oil, it's about the advertising. Or, wait, it's about controlling the water supply! No, sorry, that was Porcel again...

George Clooney missed a good chance to shut up in Madrid, where he is promoting his movie "Solaris". He said, "In the US, everything is going very badly. There are no dissident voices in my country. The most important television networks are going to make a lot more money if there's a war than if there isn't one.They don't let us actors talk, they blackball us. Sean Penn, who has made his opinion public and has gone to Iraq, is still going to spend a few months in ostracism, though he'll be all right because he has a lot of talent." Mr. Clooney also dissed Hollywood, saying that "In the US we don't have cinema, only box-office hits." Mr. Clooney wins Iberian Notes' coveted Oscar Award, named for my little black cat Oscar, who spends most of his time biting the hand that feeds him. Literally. Little Osky-poo shreds my hand, the very hand that opens his cans of cat food, whenever he feels like it. My shrink wondered whether I was cutting myself, my left hand is so chewed up.

As you almost certainly know, Jacques Chirac put his foot in it big-time on Monday. Reacting to the Eastern Europeans' strong pro-US stance over Iraq, Chirac said they showed "bad manners" and that their behavior was "irresponsible" and "dangerous". He accused them of being ungrateful to France, which has generously agreed to let them join the EU, and bashed them for their "Americanism". Chirac directly threatened Bulgaria and Romania, saying that "if they wanted to reduce their chances of joining the EU, they couldn't have done anything better than sign" the Vilna Ten letter. He said that the Eastern Europeans had "missed a good chance to shut up." The Eastern Europeans exploded, of course, with nasty reactions from the Czech Republic, Lithuania, and Romania; former Polish foreign minister Wladyslav Bartoszewski said, "We remember that it was the Americans who liberated Europe, including France, from Hitler in 1945, and we think they deserve gratitude for that on the part of all Europeans." Ouch. That was a smack right in the face. Tony Blair chimed in, calling Chirac a jackass for daring to lecture to the Eastern Europeans, who actually remember living under a dictatorship; not too many Frenchmen seem to remember when France was a dictatorship between 1940 and 1944.

Did you know that almost certainly more French were killed fighting for the Vichy French rather than De Gaulle's Free French? Most of them were sailors who were killed at Oran when the British sank the French Mediterranean fleet to keep it out of German hands after the French surrender. Some were killed in Algeria and Tunisia, too, in 1942 and '43, valiantly resisting the Anglo-American advance through North Africa. Vichy French forces lost at the very least 1200 men fighting with the Axis. Another bit of World War II trivia: it was Leon Degrelle's Belgian SS who were the last holdouts, or among the very last, on the German side during the attack on Berlin. Degrelle wound up escaping to Franco's Spain and living a long, undeservedly pleasant life.